Representing yourself

Handling your own divorce? Start here.

Two short guides for dividing retirement accounts without a lawyer. What to have ready before you start, and what to take care of after the divorce.

What to have ready After-divorce checklist

Two short guides

Simple steps for your retirement accounts.

Pick the one you need. Each takes a few minutes to read.

GUIDE 1

Before you start.

What to expect from us, step by step, and the two things to have ready.

Read the guide GUIDE 2

After the divorce.

Beneficiaries, your name, your IRA, the plan's packet and your papers.

Open the checklist

Guide 1

Before you start: what to expect and what to have ready.

Here is how it works with us, step by step, and the few papers we need to begin.

What to expect

Six steps, from your first message to your finished order.

Tell us about your case.
Use the short inquiry form, or the intake form if you already know you need a QDRO (the court order that divides a retirement plan).
We review what you sent.
We confirm the work and the fee in writing before any work begins.
You get one email.
It has the engagement terms and a payment link.
After payment, we send a secure folder.
It is for any other papers.
We draft the order to the plan's rules.
Most drafts go out in 48 to 72 hours once we have everything we need. We ask for the plan's pre-approval where the plan offers it. If the plan asks for changes during that review, we make them.
You get the finished order.
If the plan offers pre-approval, it comes with the plan's pre-approval letter or email. Our part ends when we deliver the finished order to you. You or your attorney then file it with the court, get the court-certified copy and send it to the plan for final review.

What to have ready

Tick each one off when you have it.

Your divorce agreement.Settlement agreement, memorandum of understanding, whatever yours is called. It does not have to be signed, but it has to be final. Send only the first page (the one with your case name and number) and the pages that divide the retirement accounts.
One recent statement for each retirement plan.So we know exactly which plan it is.

That is it. If the plan needs anything else, we will ask.

After your inquiry, we send you a confidential upload link for your papers.

Was there money in the account before you married?

This is for a 401(k), 403(b), IRA or a similar account. If your agreement divides only the marital share, and the account already had money in it on your date of marriage, that marital share has to be worked out before the order can be drafted.

That means one of two things:

The account is traced. Tracing separates the marital part from the part that is not marital.
Your agreement states a dollar amount you both agreed to.

Tell us when you reach out. We review what you have and quote one flat project fee before any work begins.

Dividing a pension?

Send the most recent pension statement. If the pension is already being paid, tell us.

$700FLAT, PER STANDARD QDRO

The same price for every attorney and every party. Other work is quoted after we review your case, always in writing before any work begins.

Request a QDRO Not sure? Tell us about your case

SHORT VIDEOS

Watch how it works.

Each video is under two minutes. Turn the sound on.

Guide 2

After the divorce: your checklist.

A few things to take care of once the divorce is final. Tick them off as you go.

0 of 5 done

Check and update your beneficiaries.Do not assume the divorce changed them for you. Confirm them directly with every retirement plan, IRA, annuity company and life insurance company. Do it in writing and keep the confirmation.
Change your name on your accounts, if you are changing it.Update it with each retirement plan, IRA, annuity and insurance company. Ask each one what it needs from you.
Open your own IRA before a rollover.If you plan to roll your share into an IRA, open the IRA first. Then you have the account number and company details ready for the plan's forms. It helps avoid delays.
Watch for the plan's packet.The plan may send forms by mail, by email or through its website. Check your spam folder too. Read everything before you sign. Some forms ask for a Medallion signature guarantee, a special stamp from a bank or brokerage. A notary stamp is not the same thing. Once the plan has accepted your order, if you hear nothing within a few weeks, call the plan and ask for the QDRO or court order department.
Keep your papers.Keep the signed divorce decree, the settlement agreement, the QDRO or other court order, the plan's acceptance letter, every form you send, rollover or payment confirmations and your tax forms. When you call the plan, write down the date, who you spoke with and what they said.

Who to ask

Tax questionsA CPALike cash versus rollover.
Legal questionsAn attorneyAbout your agreement or the court.
Forms and timingThe planIts own forms, rules and schedule.

New cases

Start with Sharon.

Sharon Edelman is your first contact for a new case. Send the latest statement, your agreement, or a short description of your case.

Send a case inquiry Request a QDRO

Sharon Edelman

sedelman@tovaretirement.com

(516) 200-1074

Have an attorney? They are welcome to be copied.

By Denisa Tova-Liebman, MBA, CFP, CDFA, CQS